Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Just in case you are asking the question what do Thanksgiving and Leadership have in common, well a lot. Let me introduce you to 5 Thanksgiving leadership lessons.
Every holiday family leaders make meal decisions using leadership skills for Thanksgiving tables across the country. Mothers, Grandmothers, and Thanksgiving planners have learned many leadership lessons over the years. These superheroes who work tirelessly, on every holiday to provide a bountiful feast have navigated the waters of conflict resolution, resource management, and decision making. These are an example of leadership skills. We can learn and benefit from these family leaders based on five (5) lessons they learned which I am sharing in this blog. Consequently, they may not even realize how their leadership techniques have shaped and molded families for generations. Here are the 5 Thanksgiving Leadership Lessons you can put in your Leadership tool kit.
Lesson 1 – Make A Decision
With the various options available such as what to eat, what’s for dessert, traditional meal or something different someone will make the decision. When making decisions there are many factors that need to be taken into consideration. Just like in business this can create conflict and frustration. Naturally, a leader must realistically expect different ideas and expectations. Here are some simple reminders for better decisions.
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- What is the goal or desired outcome, to illustrate, cook a Thanksgiving meal
- Examine the options, for example, traditional or maybe Italian for the meal
- Identify the effect of the decision, consequently one of your guest has a restricted diet that will influence the food on the final menu
- Make the decision, finally, you made the command decision to have Italian this year for your Thanksgiving meal
Lesson learned: Identifying your business goal, considering options, challenges, and opportunities will boost your decision-making ability.
Lesson 2 – Plan Like a Pro
The best-laid plans are not always foolproof. Let me elaborate here. Say you made the decision to prepare your Italian Thanksgiving feast with Lasagna, Italian garlic bread, salad, and all the trimmings. The guest arrive, are settling in, but you are informed your Sister-in-law is newly diagnosed with Celiac Disease. She must avoid anything with wheat because of gluten. Are you prepared to have an alternative ready for her to enjoy? Doing some pre-work in your planning is beneficial to mitigate risk and plan for unforeseen circumstances.
The Mayflower Compact
A leadership example to demonstrate the importance of including external factors in your planning is the Mayflower Compact. In November of 1620, 41 men crafted a document to quiet a rebellion. Furthermore, this document established the laws the Colonists agreed to follow. Consequently, by examining civil behaviors that could pose a risk to the success of the Colony, the Mayflower Compact was crafted to provide governance to bind them together. Ultimately, the Mayflower Compact would lay the foundation for the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States.
Lesson learned: In addition to the obvious items on a to-do list, dig deeper, come up with what-if scenarios, and ask open-ended questions to reveal and identify ways to address unexpected challenges.
Lesson 3 – Be Kind
Let us revisit the gluten sensitive Sister-in-law. While arriving and expecting to eat a good Turkey dinner she must choose how she will react when she realizes her choices are limited. Subsequently, as a leader in her family, her children are watching how she responds. Aware of the facts that 1) leadership is influence and 2) it is more effective to be kind – she thanks her host graciously. Likewise, she points out how hard her host worked to prepare such a lovely meal for the family. With reassuring kindness, she states “she will feast on salad and cranberry sauce and bask in the ambiance of being with family and making memories.” This is the side of leadership you may not find in a textbook.
Lesson Learned: A kind word in an uncomfortable situation can change the mood and provide a deeper respect for a leader because people are watching how you react.
Lesson 4 – Know Your Limits
This may be easier said than done depending on your personality. Furthermore, we may not realize we have reached the limit until that line is crossed. From the extroverted perfectionist and people-pleaser to the introvert that needs all the facts to make a decision each leaders limits are different. Consequently in business and at social gatherings often something will push us beyond our limits.
Leaders who know how to navigate these challenges don’t have a magic formula, they have “emotional intelligence” or EQ. Psychology Today defines EQ as “the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one’s own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others.” Healthy ways to activate your EQ include:
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- Getting plenty of rest before a big event especially for introverts
- Stay cool under pressure and don’t let others push your buttons
- Get over trying to please everyone because of the fear of rejection
- Avoid jumping to negative conclusions
- Let go of the things not in your control
Lesson Learned: Leaders with high EQ manage their emotions when pushed past their limits.
Lesson 5 – Listen More, Talk Less
In his book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect,” John C. Maxwell says,
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- “High achievers listen well to everyone
- Average achievers listen only to superiors
- Low achievers avoid communication and rely on policy manuals…”
Incidentally, we can gather from John’s comments that there is a method to listening well. Listening more and talking less will help any leader make a connection that goes beyond words.
Let me illustrate. Remember our gluten sensitive Thanksgiving dinner guest. Since we we keep going back her perhaps we should give her a name. She seems elegant so lets call her Elle. Now let’s give our Thanksgiving Lasagna making Sister-in-law a name as well. We will call her Narcissa.
Both of these lovely Mom’s sit on the board of a non-profit organization. In addition, they just had their quarterly board meeting 2 weeks ago. During that meeting Ellie brought up the topic of the Company’s Christmas Dinner and the need to provide options for people who have dietary restrictions. Furthermore, Ellie shared her new diagnosis and used her own story as an example and asked the Board to consider meal options for the next meeting. While Ellie was talking, Narcissa was so focused on her board updates and making sure she presented the information perfectly that she didn’t hear what Ellie shared. Now this scenario is completely hypothetical to drive home the point of actively listening. So if your name is Ellie or Narcissa it is purely coincidental.
Lesson Learned: Leaders listen with more than their ears, they listen with their heart and mind to build a relationship built on respect and trust.
In Conclusion A Challenge
I hope you have enjoyed the lessons learned from Ellie and Narcissa. While there are challenges for all of us to overcome in this Thanksgiving season, may we find ways to intentionally be thankful for all the blessings that have come our way.
Furthermore, don’t limit your thankfulness to just Thanksgiving day. Keep the grateful momentum going. Here is a simple challenge for us, myself included. After Thanksgiving is over spend the 1st week in December being thankful for those you lead at home or at work. Here are 31 inspiring suggestions for expressing thankfulness.
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